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The ability to ask good questions is one of the main skills that you can use to keep
a conversation going. In conversations, we usually think that we're supposed to tell
great stories and show others how amazing we are. The ability to ask good questions
in a social situation is one of the main ways to keep the ball rolling.
There are two types of questions that we're going to explore. The first is called an easy question. It is a direct question that you can answer with a yes or no or a short phrase. I used to have a lot of difficulty in social situations like parties until I realised I'm just going to ask a question with one word answer. So, I asked people questions like this: How many years have you been living in Baku? Then it gets very easy for the other person to start the ball rolling. Then you can follow up with an open-ended question, that's the second type of question. After you learn that the person has lived in Baku for 7 years, you can ask another close question like Where did you live before that? Then you open up the conversation with what brought that person from that place to Baku. What question or how question usually requires a lot more detail. It's going to get them talking and opening up and that's when you really see the conversation. Some people say you can also start with a why question. I have found however, in my experience that the conversation that starts with why sometimes can make the other person feel a little defensive like they have to justify their explanations. I was talking to a friend of mine just a couple of days ago. He said that he was at work and his co-worker who was showing him around was asking a lot of questions and he was answering the questions. Then he noticed the conversation just died. And he reflected on it and said, "I know why it died. I wasn't asking him the right questions." So, the next time he went to work, he started with easy questions and then followed up with an open-ended |